Hide and seek. A game as old as time it seems. A game I recently introduced to Molli, the 3 yr old I am nannying. Her favorite thing in the world is being tickled. At least a third of my day is spent running after Molli to tickle her. She loves it. She squeals in delight at the anticipation of my "getting" her. I decided to teach her the game of hide and seek to add a little variety from chasing after her.
"I'm going to count to ten. You hide, and I'll come find you," I said.
"Okay, I'll hide.... oh right there!"
"No, Molli, you can't tell me where you are going to hide. I have to find you."
"Oh okay."
So after counting very loud, I walk in and scan the room only to see that Molli is in plain sight. I act as if I don't see her and say, "I wonder where she could be?" She yells, "Here I am!" Haha I cannot help but laugh. She knows that when she is found, she will be tickled. She cares more about being found than hiding. And since she knows me and knows that I tickle her all day long, she has no fear of being found. She experiences overwhelming joy in being found.
Molli and I roller skating
As this went on for about an hour, the Spirit led me to think about the gospel. Before I knew the Lord, I was hiding. (I was actually dead, but I didn't know that.) I hid behind layers of insecurities. But unlike Molli, I was fearful of being found. I felt I was much better off hiding behind other people's approval, my own "good girl" appearance, and my performance. I thought I had a good grip on who God was, and in my mind He was just an addition to these things I already found my identity in.
Luckily, the Lord in His grace found me anyway. He found me despite all my efforts to find life apart from Him. He found me and raised me from the dead. He found me and brought me out into a spacious place because He delighted in me.
But He doesn't stop there. Throughout our time as believers on this earth, we still find ways to try and hide from Him. We hide behind our personality, our social skills, our good looks, our intelligence, our pride, our status. We hide behind our hurt, justification, or emotions. We hide behind substances or a facade of perfection. We hide when we are embarrassed or feel guilty or full of shame. We hide when we don't want to deal with what is really going on in our lives. We hide when we tell others that we are "fine" or "good" when our lives are anything but put together. We hide when we are living in sin. We hide when we never talk about ourselves. And we hide when we only talk about ourselves. We hide when we feel neglected, rejected, abandoned, alone, insignificant, or without purpose.
Unlike Molli, we live in fear of being found. But honestly that is our deepest longing: to be found, exposed, seen, known, understood, and loved without reservation. I think the problem lies in not truly knowing or believing the truth about who God is. Yes, I know the Lord. But when I choose to hide behind shame or insignificance, I am not believing the truth that Jesus bore our sin and our shame for me, personally. When I choose to hide behind my personality or social skills in order to be liked by others, I am not believing the truth that the Lord unconditionally approves me because He sees His Son when He looks at me. When I choose to hide behind "good" or "fine," I am not believing the truth that the gospel glories in our weaknesses.
Molli believes the truth about who I am. She knows that I will tickle her every time I "find" her. Let us, in the power of the Spirit, believe in our hearts the truth about who God really is - finding this truth in His Word - that we may experience freedom, that we may no longer hide. Let us praise Him for His relentless pursuit of us. He came from His throne in heaven to find us.
1O LORD, you have searched me and you know me...
7Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? Psalm 139
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