Ben and I are really enjoying our new place of life. It's kind of like we are on our honeymoon all over again - traveling around, not knowing many people, exploring the area, spending lots of time together. Needless to say, I'm loving it.
Ben is currently still looking for a job, so we would love your prayers for the Lord's provision and favor and for clarity as Ben pursues His leading.
Luckily, through the seminary job portal, I found a job opportunity as a nanny for a sweet family in the community who have three girls - Taylor (10), Lilly, (7), and Molli (3). I started the job this past week. On my first day of work, I woke up to a super clean kitchen and this sweet note from Ben:
I was so humbled! Love words of affirmation.
Here are my sweet girls! Taylor, Lilli, and I playing beauty salon, and Molli just being her cutie self.
I have loved getting to love on these girls, serve them, and teach them. I have loved getting to see and discern the ways that the Lord has created each of them uniquely and praying according to the potential struggles that I see developing. I have loved being challenged to get on Molli's level, not the easiest thing for me. I have loved being challenged to discipline them for their good. I have loved getting to play with all of them because they want me to play. I am basically getting a lesson in motherhood. And the Lord is revealing to me all these things and more as He shows me the good and loving Father He is to me.
For the first two weeks here, Ben and I were looking for things to do everyday. Here were our options: clean, organize this and that, run to the store, cook, laundry, exercise, read, watch tv. It can get a liiiiittle mundane if you ask me. But I felt so in tune with the Spirit, knowing how He wanted me to pray or serve or surrender. He was still calling me to depend on Him, even though I had very little going on. My flesh fights for control and against dependence. When I have little to do, it's easy for me to forget about depending on the Lord in my everyday kind of tasks. I am so much more reminded of my need of Him when I can barely balance all the facets of my life. But because of His grace, my prayer has been, "Abba, don't let me forget how much I need you." I look at Buck, our sweet 3 year old black lab, and am amazed at how needy he is for his parents (Ben & me). He wants to sit in our laps. He wants to play. He needs to eat. He needs to do his business. He needs some love. Even as I am typing this, this is what he is doing:
I looooove Buck, but sometimes, I'm like "Hey Buck, GO LAY DOWN." But when we come to the Lord in our neediness, He NEVER tells us to get away from him or figure it out on our own or play by ourselves or ignores us. He adores us and delights when we come to Him in our neediness - I say "in" our neediness and not "with" because we all are needy, whether we realize it or not. He delights when we come to Him because we are acknowledging and believing the truth - we can do nothing apart from Him. It's an act of sacrifice and worship. It's asking for more of the Spirit. We can find ourselves going to other people in our neediness. I often do this with Ben. But this doesn't fair well either. He is human and was not created to meet all my needs. Only the Lord can do this for us. He is infinite. He is sufficient. Others will fail us and we will fail ourselves. But He will never fail us. So let us go to the Living Water to supply all our needs.
