an unnatural dreamer

I've never really been a dreamer.

You know those people. The ones who see one little thing and are suddenly envisioning ten years down the road when this or that could possibly be happening. The ones who get wild in their talking at the drop of a hat. The ones who can't resist wondering what if and what could be in the best way possible. The ones who can't fall asleep because they have an idea that that makes their hearts beat too fast to relax. The ones who see a need and think maybe, just maybe, they could be the ones to do something about it.

I have always been really simple. I'm from a small town in the Mississippi Delta where things are predictable and anything out of the ordinary poses reason for caution. Life seemed quite easy in my little sphere, and knowing what to expect everyday or every week created a nice structure of comfort and security.

[my adorable sister (on the right) & I in our back yard]

Others around me wanted more. But I never found myself in the same boat. I'm not a natural adventurist or risk-taker. I have said often that the only things I like that are complex are God and people. I liked the predictable and the mundane in that small town, and the highlights of my life were found in the simple movements of being with people and making the everyday, same ole same ole something to be cherished. I found myself most alive in really being with the people right in front of me and in really giving myself to the daily activities of life. Thus, I never spent too much time wandering far off in my imagination or prayers about where I could go and what could be.

All this to say, I'm not a natural dreamer.

But something new is happening in this season of life. I blogged when these new passions began. Five pieces of stationery. It’s all I could see then. But my mind raced with the idea of creating an etsy shop, and I knew I needed to be faithful to follow through, to simply start.

I wasn’t dreaming of a huge, thriving business. I was dreaming of cute sayings to put on cards that people might like. I didn’t think my stationery would move mountains for the Kingdom, but I had this stirring in my heart to create something I care about and just couldn’t shake it.

And now, as I’ve taken small steps of faith, slowly adding new products that I love, the Lord has grown this little handmade shop beyond what I could have imagined.

Because of the seemingly sudden growth, the Lord has captured my attention. He's up to something. Because in my wisdom, ability, or strength, this business would only be inches away from where it started. The Lord has blessed the work of my hands and grown this business to a place that has caused me to actually dream. Bigger dreams than this little heart of mine has ever dreamed before. It’s not natural, and it didn’t happen overnight.

This passion for the work of my hands is a result of the Lord calling me to be faithful every single day. That’s where it starts, and that’s where it endures.

Faithfulness.

This slow and intentional faithfulness to walk with Him in love and fullness and obedience has brought me greater joy and greater awareness of my deep need of Him. As I spent time in prayer about this coming year, about these new and scary dreams racing through my head, so desiring to be used as a servant in the Kingdom, the Lord led me here:

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning, 

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Psalm 130:6

[my dog Buck does this every single morning. waiting for his dog pal around the corner to go for a walk. I pray the Lord will use him to remind me often of this!]

This verse is my vision and reminder for this year.

I want to wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning. What fully does this mean? Let me be the first to say, I don’t know. How is this possible? It’s all that a watchman does! He waits for the morning to come. It’s his duty.

But here is what I do know. If all my hope is in Jesus, my heart is set on Him. Not just my eyes. I long for the day I see Him face to face!! And while I wait, I want my heart to be so fixed upon the Lord that I don’t miss joining in on His work. I want to be waiting upon my Master so readily that I am sensitive to His every move and directing. I want to be so willing to serve Him that these fears that cripple dreams become no match for the strength and trustworthiness of my Savior. And I want to be as faithful to the Lord in all that He asks of me, as faithful as watchmen are to wait for the morning.

[frame & print made by my sweet friend Stacy as a surprise for me!! she's the wood mastermind of the shop!]

He has laid some pretty exciting projects on my heart, and I cannot wait to share the journey and prayerfully the finished products with you! Now I find that I am the one getting wild in my talking at the drop of a hat (evidenced by my best friend making the frame & print above), not falling asleep because my heart is beating too fast, and prayerfully envisioning meeting a need to advance the Kingdom.

So for those of you, like me, who aren’t natural dreamers, I must ask, 

Is the Lord calling you to do/start/finish/share something? 
Small or big?

Are you willing to be faithful?

Remember, faithfulness to the Lord everyday is what He desires: 

"Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful." 1 Corinthians 4:2

Here's a helpful breakdown in the application of that question –

Are you asking, pleading with God to use you for His work and purposes?

Are you listening? Feeding on His Word and growing in sensitivity to His Spirit?

Are you responding? Moving forward in small steps or leaps of faith and obedience?

Ask. Listen. Respond.

Let me encourage you to consider which of these is hardest for you and to plead with the Lord in prayer to grow you in this area. He is incredibly gracious to allow us the joy of entering into His plans and His work. Let us not miss out on life as it is meant to be lived!